Archive for July, 2010

Girlfriend: *Tosses and turns rapidly* "Mom!"
Me: "It’s just me. You’re ok, nothing is trying to get you"
GF: "What was that noise?"
Me: "I just sniffled a second ago. I’m still sick"
GF: "What does that represent? I mean, represent"
Me: "I have no idea. What do you think it represents?"
And then no reply. She had already fallen back asleep.

Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"

Fiance: "Did you see it?"
Me: "See what?"
Fiance: "That *mumble*. Its an ant up there on the ceiling."
Me: "There’s an ant on the ceiling?"
Fiance: "Yea, did you find him?"
Me: "No, he ran away"
Fiance: "yea.." *mumbles*
And sound asleep again.

Fiance: "Hey?!? Are you ok?!?"
Me: *confused* "yes"
Fiance: "Are you sure?! You said you were doomed!"
Me: "No, that was a cough."
Fiance: *starting to wake up* "wait….."

Fiance: "This…This is why I’ve had so much trouble. It’s like, it’s like this piece of hair made of plastic. You know, it’s like plaster and it’s just I don’t know I’m not going to explain it."

Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Me: "What?!"
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."

Fiance: *concerned mumbles*
Me: "What?"
Fiance: *concerned mumbles, lots of pointing with a crooked finger*
Me: "I still don’t get it"
Fiance: "Ok, re-re, look there is someone over there"
Me: "No, there isn’t. That’s a dresser."
Fiance: "Yes there is. There’s someone over there. Go look. Go. Do you want me to go?"
Me: "Hell no, you’ll die"
Fiance: "Should we blow him up?"
Me: "Yes. Absolutely."

Wife: "What? MOM!?!"
Me: "She’s not here."
Wife: "Oh. I’m worried about the pony"
Me: "What pony?"
Wife: "The pony. Coming out of the cage."
Me: "When did you get a pony?"
Wife: *asleep*

Fiance: "wait, is that one more?"
Me: "It’s always one more"
Fiance: "ugh I’m always one behind. It makes me crazy"
Me: "You’re crazy already."
Fiance: "I know it makes me crazy. I can’t catch up"
Me: "Try running"
Fiance: "I can’t its always one more"

Wife: "Oh, they *mumble* the coupons."
Me: "What coupons?"
Wife: "I don’t know."
Me: "I don’t either."