Wait, do what now?
Wife wakes up in a panic and covers her head with her pillow, yelling.
Wife: "No, no, no, no! I don’t want to play! Seriously I’m not playing this game!"
Me: "what game do you think we are playing?"
Wife: "Well, I guess I can play for a little"
Me: "What are we playing?"
Wife: "The game with the cup. Where we have to put the guy in the cup. I don’t know. Right?"
Me: "What cup? What guy? I don’t see that here."
Wife: "I don’t know. The guy that we flip."
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Wife: "Woa! That’s beautiful! Where did you get that?"
Me: "Get what?"
Wife: "That picture! Do you see it?"
Me: "I sure do."
Wife: "Do you have it? It’s over there, I can see it."
Me: "No I don’t think so."
Wife: "Oh. Ok."
Girlfriend: "Hey, where’s Jillian?"
Me: "She’s on the roof"
Girlfriend: "Yea right. If she was she would poop so hard the ceiling would fall."
Girlfriend: “you’ll just have to wait and see. And I’m fully awake and in between the state where I know what’s going on and where I make blankets for invisible mary”
Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Fiance: "Wait, what happened? What did the light go?"
Me: "I turned off my laptop"
Fiance: "Will it turn back on?"
Fiance: "With the lights and stuff?"
Me: "I hope so"
Fiance: "Oh. Ok"
Girlfriend: "Do….what should I do? Should I go around the edge?"
Me: "What edge?"
Girlfriend: "The edge here. Should I go on that?"
Me: "Maybe? What are the options?"
Girlfriend: "What…what should I do? What do you want me to do?"
Me: "I don’t know?"
Girlfriend: "I’m gonna do what I’m doing."
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."