Sleep Babble

5 Random Babbles:

Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Me: What?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.

Wife: “Hey! What are you doing?!?”

Me: “I’m reading and you’re having a nightmare”

Wife: “No, I’m wide awake. Who is Jezma?”

Me: “What?”

Wife: “You just said you were Jezma”

Me: “I did not”

Wife: “Oh shit, I wish I recorded this. You thought you were Jezma and now you feel like a dumb dumb”

Me: “Sure, let’s go with that”

Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"

Wife: *mumbles franticly* "I don’t want to, don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Why would I make you disappear?"
Wife: "I don’t know but no more. I don’t like it. Don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Ok, I won’t make you disappear."

Girlfriend: "Hey, where’s Jillian?"
Me: "She’s on the roof"
Girlfriend: "Yea right. If she was she would poop so hard the ceiling would fall."

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