{"id":136,"date":"2013-12-27T23:21:17","date_gmt":"2013-12-28T04:21:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/?page_id=136"},"modified":"2014-03-04T21:48:41","modified_gmt":"2014-03-05T02:48:41","slug":"sleep-babble","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/?page_id=136","title":{"rendered":"Sleep Babble"},"content":{"rendered":"

5 Random Babbles:<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
<\/div>
»<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n
\n\n\t\t

<\/span>Girlfriend: *puts her arm under her pillow, lifts it up and partially sits up* *mumbles something about a rose*
Me: "What are you doing?!?"
Girlfriend: "I’m not doing it"
Me: (I am slightly concerned at this point). "What are you not doing?"
Girlfriend: "Oh, you know"
Me: "No, I don’t"
Girlfriend: "you know, capsizing"
Me: "What??"
Girlfriend: "I gotta go. My ship is sinking and I need my last beaths of air".
Me: *blink* *confused*
Girlfriend: "It’s my Titanic"
I….have no idea. She snapped out of it when she heard me gasping for my own air from laughing so hard.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

\n\n\t\t

<\/span>Wife: *Freaks out and gets out of bed, walks to the bathroom*
Wife: "She’s trying to get in the bed!"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those effing crayons"
Me: "What?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those damn crayons for her anymore"<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

\n\n\t\t

<\/span>Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

\n\n\t\t

<\/span>My fiance wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish and pointing down: "jfksjio and under the bed"
Me: "What’s under the bed?"
Fiance: "They have a stove under there"
Me: "Who does?"
Fiance: "I don’t know but I know they have one and it’s like…one they pass around to each other"
Me: "How do you know?"
Fiance: "I don’t know, but I know they have it"
Me: "It’s those damned Keebler Elves again, isn’t it?"
Fiance: *Sound asleep*<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

\n\n\t\t

<\/span>Fiance: *pointing at the ceiling VERY rapidly* "Holy shit!"
Me: "What?"
Fiance: *mumbling* "…and its all around the sinking. See it?"
Me: "Yea. I think it’s sinking toward you"
Fiance: "It’s sinking up there. It’s really bad. Do you see it?"
Me: "I see it. Why did it do that?"
Fiance: *mumbling again and then back asleep*<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\t\t<\/div>\n

<\/div>
»<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

5 Random Babbles:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-136","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/136","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=136"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/136\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.fuzzydice.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}