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Fiance: "This…This is why I’ve had so much trouble. It’s like, it’s like this piece of hair made of plastic. You know, it’s like plaster and it’s just I don’t know I’m not going to explain it."

Girlfriend: *wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish, then plays around with her night guard*
Me: "What are you doing?"
Girlfriend: "I’m trying to figure out these ants"
Me: "What’s wrong with the ants?"
Girlfriend: "You just worry about your stuff over there"

Girlfriend: "Who….whats in over there? Is he in there? What’s his name?"
Me: (bewildered at all of the random and sudden questions) "I think his name is Josh"
Girlfriend: "Is, who is the guy that’s above us in the replaceable. In there."
Me: "I have no idea"

Wife: "Do you see that up there?"
Me: "See what?"
Wife: "That big green. It’s going to be, um, on the green there."
Me: "It’s green?"
Wife: "Yea. Big glob of snot and it’s gonna fall."
Me: "Snot?"
Wife: "I can’t even look anymore. Big snot. It’s gonna fall."

Wife: "It’s better here. I like it here."
Me: "Where?"
Wife: "Hey, do you need help? I need to clean."
Me: "Why do you need to clean?"
Wife: "I just thought to help you. I already asked, didn’t I?"

Girlfriend wakes up abruptly, looks around the room….
Girlfriend: "Ok, don’t think I’m crazy. Do this…" She covers her face with her hands, as if she is hiding, but allows a small crack between her hands so she can look through.
Me: "I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing"
Girlfriend: "It’s just weird. When that stuff was moving. You just have to see it"
At this point all I could do was laugh. I had absolutely no response.

Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"

Girlfriend: *pointing at the ceiling and moving her finger as if she is following something* "Did, did you see that?"
Me: "What?"
Girlfriend: "Ok, I didn’t make this up. It was red, and it was like hanging down, and then it got sucked up, and then it disappeared."
Me: *laughing*
Girlfriend: "Wait. And now it sounds really stupid"
Me: *more laughing*
Girlfriend: "I gotta go" *mumbles something*
Me: "What?!?"
Girlfriend: "Don’t worry about it. Just ignore me"

Girlfriend: "Will you tell me when that guy" *fades off into a mumble.
Me: "What?"
Girlfriend: "That guy with the blue piece"
Me: "Which guy?"
Girlfriend: "The one with the brain piece. You know, he had it up there"
Me: "Oh yea, him. What about him?"
Girlfriend: "He had the two pieces."
And then she fell asleep again.

Fiance: "Wait, what happened? What did the light go?"
Me: "I turned off my laptop"
Fiance: "Will it turn back on?"
Me: "Yea"
Fiance: "With the lights and stuff?"
Me: "I hope so"
Fiance: "Oh. Ok"