Wait, do what now?
Do Stuff
Places to visit
Fiance: "Oh, oh great"
Me: "What?"
Fiance: "It’s stuck up in the ceiling fan"
Me: "What is?"
Fiance: "Wait, maybe it’s a shadow from your head"
Me: "There’s no light to make a shadow"
Fiance: *asleep*Wife: “Hey! What are you doing?!?” Me: “I’m reading and you’re having a nightmare” Wife: “No, I’m wide awake. Who is Jezma?” Me: “What?” Wife: “You just said you were Jezma” Me: “I did not” Wife: “Oh shit, I wish I recorded this. You thought you were Jezma and now you feel like a dumb dumb” Me: “Sure, let’s go with that”
Fiance: *pointing at the ceiling VERY rapidly* "Holy shit!"
Me: "What?"
Fiance: *mumbling* "…and its all around the sinking. See it?"
Me: "Yea. I think it’s sinking toward you"
Fiance: "It’s sinking up there. It’s really bad. Do you see it?"
Me: "I see it. Why did it do that?"
Fiance: *mumbling again and then back asleep*Girlfriend: "Hows that look? The log cabin stuff?
Me: "what?"
Girlfriend: "The log cabin in the closet. I don’t know. It looks like its…*pause*"
Me: "like what?"
Girlfriend: "I don’t know. You don’t need to tell anyone about this"
Oh yes, yes I do.Fiance: "Did you see it?"
Me: "See what?"
Fiance: "That *mumble*. Its an ant up there on the ceiling."
Me: "There’s an ant on the ceiling?"
Fiance: "Yea, did you find him?"
Me: "No, he ran away"
Fiance: "yea.." *mumbles*
And sound asleep again.Wife: *Freaks out and gets out of bed, walks to the bathroom*
Wife: "She’s trying to get in the bed!"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those effing crayons"
Me: "What?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those damn crayons for her anymore"Fiance: "Uh, what’s he doing?"
Me: "Nothing"
Fiance: "Yea he is"
Me: "He’s walking his dog"
Fiance: "Oh. Upside down?"
Me: "Yep."
Fiance: "Oh. hah."Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Me: "What?!"
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."My girlfriend wakes up, looks at me, points then says…
Girlfriend: "I think she will mow the sunshine."
Me: "The sunsine needs mowing again?"
She was asleep again before she could respond.Fiance: "This…This is why I’ve had so much trouble. It’s like, it’s like this piece of hair made of plastic. You know, it’s like plaster and it’s just I don’t know I’m not going to explain it."