Wait, do what now?
Girlfriend: *wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish, then plays around with her night guard*
Me: "What are you doing?"
Girlfriend: "I’m trying to figure out these ants"
Me: "What’s wrong with the ants?"
Girlfriend: "You just worry about your stuff over there"
Fiance: "Hey?!? Are you ok?!?"
Me: *confused* "yes"
Fiance: "Are you sure?! You said you were doomed!"
Me: "No, that was a cough."
Fiance: *starting to wake up* "wait….."
Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"
Girlfriend: *puts her arm under her pillow, lifts it up and partially sits up* *mumbles something about a rose*
Me: "What are you doing?!?"
Girlfriend: "I’m not doing it"
Me: (I am slightly concerned at this point). "What are you not doing?"
Girlfriend: "Oh, you know"
Me: "No, I don’t"
Girlfriend: "you know, capsizing"
Girlfriend: "I gotta go. My ship is sinking and I need my last beaths of air".
Me: *blink* *confused*
Girlfriend: "It’s my Titanic"
I….have no idea. She snapped out of it when she heard me gasping for my own air from laughing so hard.
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."
Wife: "Did you get your present yet?"
Me: "My what?"
Wife: "Your yoyo"
Me: "I don’t think it’s here yet"
Girlfriend wakes up abruptly, looks around the room….
Girlfriend: "Ok, don’t think I’m crazy. Do this…" She covers her face with her hands, as if she is hiding, but allows a small crack between her hands so she can look through.
Me: "I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing"
Girlfriend: "It’s just weird. When that stuff was moving. You just have to see it"
At this point all I could do was laugh. I had absolutely no response.
Fiance: *sits straight up in bed* "huh? Wait, how do I get out of here?"
Me: "The door."
Fiance: "That door that says no no?"
Me: "No, that’s the bathroom door."
Fiance: "But you said I could get out there."
Me: "No, you have to use the other door."
Fiance: "Oh. I’m so confused. I can’t get out of here."
Wife: *wigs out*
Me: "Are you ok?"
Wife: "I don’t know why you won’t just go trick or treating with me"
Me: "Wait, what?"
Wife: "This is why we can’t just talk about it because you won’t go"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Wife: "We were supposed to go trick or treating but you are laughing at me and won’t go"
Wife: *Freaks out and gets out of bed, walks to the bathroom*
Wife: "She’s trying to get in the bed!"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those effing crayons"
Wife: "I’m not buying those damn crayons for her anymore"