Wait, do what now?
Wife wakes up in a panic and covers her head with her pillow, yelling.
Wife: "No, no, no, no! I don’t want to play! Seriously I’m not playing this game!"
Me: "what game do you think we are playing?"
Wife: "Well, I guess I can play for a little"
Me: "What are we playing?"
Wife: "The game with the cup. Where we have to put the guy in the cup. I don’t know. Right?"
Me: "What cup? What guy? I don’t see that here."
Wife: "I don’t know. The guy that we flip."
Girlfriend: *pointing at the ceiling and moving her finger as if she is following something* "Did, did you see that?"
Girlfriend: "Ok, I didn’t make this up. It was red, and it was like hanging down, and then it got sucked up, and then it disappeared."
Girlfriend: "Wait. And now it sounds really stupid"
Me: *more laughing*
Girlfriend: "I gotta go" *mumbles something*
Girlfriend: "Don’t worry about it. Just ignore me"
Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"
Girlfriend: *wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish, then plays around with her night guard*
Me: "What are you doing?"
Girlfriend: "I’m trying to figure out these ants"
Me: "What’s wrong with the ants?"
Girlfriend: "You just worry about your stuff over there"
My girlfriend wakes up, looks at me, points then says…
Girlfriend: "I think she will mow the sunshine."
Me: "The sunsine needs mowing again?"
She was asleep again before she could respond.
Wife: “Hey! What are you doing?!?” Me: “I’m reading and you’re having a nightmare” Wife: “No, I’m wide awake. Who is Jezma?” Me: “What?” Wife: “You just said you were Jezma” Me: “I did not” Wife: “Oh shit, I wish I recorded this. You thought you were Jezma and now you feel like a dumb dumb” Me: “Sure, let’s go with that”
Wife: "Do you see that up there?"
Me: "See what?"
Wife: "That big green. It’s going to be, um, on the green there."
Me: "It’s green?"
Wife: "Yea. Big glob of snot and it’s gonna fall."
Wife: "I can’t even look anymore. Big snot. It’s gonna fall."
Girlfriend: *puts her arm under her pillow, lifts it up and partially sits up* *mumbles something about a rose*
Me: "What are you doing?!?"
Girlfriend: "I’m not doing it"
Me: (I am slightly concerned at this point). "What are you not doing?"
Girlfriend: "Oh, you know"
Me: "No, I don’t"
Girlfriend: "you know, capsizing"
Girlfriend: "I gotta go. My ship is sinking and I need my last beaths of air".
Me: *blink* *confused*
Girlfriend: "It’s my Titanic"
I….have no idea. She snapped out of it when she heard me gasping for my own air from laughing so hard.
Fiance: "This is really cool"
Me: "What is?"
Fiance: "This room down here is all Notre Dame stuff. It’s really cool"
Me: "Wait, where?"
Fiance: *weird mumbles* "Notre dame stuff"
Girlfriend: "Hey, where’s Jillian?"
Me: "She’s on the roof"
Girlfriend: "Yea right. If she was she would poop so hard the ceiling would fall."