Wait, do what now?
Fiance: "This…This is why I’ve had so much trouble. It’s like, it’s like this piece of hair made of plastic. You know, it’s like plaster and it’s just I don’t know I’m not going to explain it."
Girlfriend: *pointing at the ceiling and moving her finger as if she is following something* "Did, did you see that?"
Girlfriend: "Ok, I didn’t make this up. It was red, and it was like hanging down, and then it got sucked up, and then it disappeared."
Girlfriend: "Wait. And now it sounds really stupid"
Me: *more laughing*
Girlfriend: "I gotta go" *mumbles something*
Girlfriend: "Don’t worry about it. Just ignore me"
Wife: "Did you get your present yet?"
Me: "My what?"
Wife: "Your yoyo"
Me: "I don’t think it’s here yet"
Wife: "Sounds like Mousetrap"
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."
Fiance: "I hope you don’t mind. I moved the bed"
Me: "you did?" (The bed was not moved at all.)
Fiance: "yea. I used that thing where there is 4 instead of 3. And you tie it at the top."
Me: "It’s kind of cold in here"
Fiance: "Lay down and you’ll get warm, then you will be cold"
Me: "Is that how it works?"
Fiance: *asleep again*
Fiance: *mumbles quite a bit and points at her pillow* "Theres another million under there…" *mumbles*
Fiance: "Yea, under there. I’m not getting near there." *inches towards the foot of the bed*
Fiance: "It’s a million. all bees." *continues to inch towards the foot of the bed*
Me: "where are you going?"
Fiance: "Getting away. They can get off me." *falls asleep*
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Girlfriend: *Tosses and turns rapidly* "Mom!"
Me: "It’s just me. You’re ok, nothing is trying to get you"
GF: "What was that noise?"
Me: "I just sniffled a second ago. I’m still sick"
GF: "What does that represent? I mean, represent"
Me: "I have no idea. What do you think it represents?"
And then no reply. She had already fallen back asleep.
Fiance: "huh? But it’s free"
Me: "What’s free?"
Fiance: "The thing on my phone. It’s, where. You know."
Me: "What is it?"
Fiance: "It’s for the phone. The sound of wild horses, free, for iPhones."
Me: "I like free"