Wait, do what now?
Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"
Girlfriend: "Who….whats in over there? Is he in there? What’s his name?"
Me: (bewildered at all of the random and sudden questions) "I think his name is Josh"
Girlfriend: "Is, who is the guy that’s above us in the replaceable. In there."
Me: "I have no idea"
Fiance: "You okay?"
Me: "Yea. My eye itches"
Fiance: "So it’s ok now?"
Fiance, in a mocking voice: "How does that happen? Whoop, my eye’s all better now. *giggles*"
Me: "Don’t laugh, that can happen"
She fell back asleep at this point
Wife: *wigs out*
Me: "Are you ok?"
Wife: "I don’t know why you won’t just go trick or treating with me"
Me: "Wait, what?"
Wife: "This is why we can’t just talk about it because you won’t go"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Wife: "We were supposed to go trick or treating but you are laughing at me and won’t go"
Girlfriend: "Hey, where’s Jillian?"
Me: "She’s on the roof"
Girlfriend: "Yea right. If she was she would poop so hard the ceiling would fall."
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Fiance: "This is really cool"
Me: "What is?"
Fiance: "This room down here is all Notre Dame stuff. It’s really cool"
Me: "Wait, where?"
Fiance: *weird mumbles* "Notre dame stuff"
Wife: "It’s better here. I like it here."
Wife: "Hey, do you need help? I need to clean."
Me: "Why do you need to clean?"
Wife: "I just thought to help you. I already asked, didn’t I?"
Girlfriend: "Will you tell me when that guy" *fades off into a mumble.
Girlfriend: "That guy with the blue piece"
Me: "Which guy?"
Girlfriend: "The one with the brain piece. You know, he had it up there"
Me: "Oh yea, him. What about him?"
Girlfriend: "He had the two pieces."
And then she fell asleep again.
Fiance: "out of all the people on bikes, I like you best"
Me: "just on bikes?"
Fiance: "I thought you might like to know" *giggles*
Me: "ok then"