Wait, do what now?
Fiance: "You okay?"
Me: "Yea. My eye itches"
Fiance: "So it’s ok now?"
Fiance, in a mocking voice: "How does that happen? Whoop, my eye’s all better now. *giggles*"
Me: "Don’t laugh, that can happen"
She fell back asleep at this point
Fiance: "Hey?!? Are you ok?!?"
Me: *confused* "yes"
Fiance: "Are you sure?! You said you were doomed!"
Me: "No, that was a cough."
Fiance: *starting to wake up* "wait….."
Wife: *wigs out*
Me: "Are you ok?"
Wife: "I don’t know why you won’t just go trick or treating with me"
Me: "Wait, what?"
Wife: "This is why we can’t just talk about it because you won’t go"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Wife: "We were supposed to go trick or treating but you are laughing at me and won’t go"
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."
Fiance: *concerned mumbles*
Fiance: *concerned mumbles, lots of pointing with a crooked finger*
Me: "I still don’t get it"
Fiance: "Ok, re-re, look there is someone over there"
Me: "No, there isn’t. That’s a dresser."
Fiance: "Yes there is. There’s someone over there. Go look. Go. Do you want me to go?"
Me: "Hell no, you’ll die"
Fiance: "Should we blow him up?"
Me: "Yes. Absolutely."
Fiance: "out of all the people on bikes, I like you best"
Me: "just on bikes?"
Fiance: "I thought you might like to know" *giggles*
Me: "ok then"
Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"
Girlfriend: *wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish, then plays around with her night guard*
Me: "What are you doing?"
Girlfriend: "I’m trying to figure out these ants"
Me: "What’s wrong with the ants?"
Girlfriend: "You just worry about your stuff over there"
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Girlfriend: “you’ll just have to wait and see. And I’m fully awake and in between the state where I know what’s going on and where I make blankets for invisible mary”