Wait, do what now?
Girlfriend: *Tosses and turns rapidly* "Mom!"
Me: "It’s just me. You’re ok, nothing is trying to get you"
GF: "What was that noise?"
Me: "I just sniffled a second ago. I’m still sick"
GF: "What does that represent? I mean, represent"
Me: "I have no idea. What do you think it represents?"
And then no reply. She had already fallen back asleep.
Fiance: "huh? But it’s free"
Me: "What’s free?"
Fiance: "The thing on my phone. It’s, where. You know."
Me: "What is it?"
Fiance: "It’s for the phone. The sound of wild horses, free, for iPhones."
Me: "I like free"
Girlfriend: "Will you tell me when that guy" *fades off into a mumble.
Girlfriend: "That guy with the blue piece"
Me: "Which guy?"
Girlfriend: "The one with the brain piece. You know, he had it up there"
Me: "Oh yea, him. What about him?"
Girlfriend: "He had the two pieces."
And then she fell asleep again.
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."
Wife: *mumbles franticly* "I don’t want to, don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Why would I make you disappear?"
Wife: "I don’t know but no more. I don’t like it. Don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Ok, I won’t make you disappear."
Girlfriend: *wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish, then plays around with her night guard*
Me: "What are you doing?"
Girlfriend: "I’m trying to figure out these ants"
Me: "What’s wrong with the ants?"
Girlfriend: "You just worry about your stuff over there"
Wife: "Do you see that up there?"
Me: "See what?"
Wife: "That big green. It’s going to be, um, on the green there."
Me: "It’s green?"
Wife: "Yea. Big glob of snot and it’s gonna fall."
Wife: "I can’t even look anymore. Big snot. It’s gonna fall."
Wife: *wigs out*
Me: "Are you ok?"
Wife: "I don’t know why you won’t just go trick or treating with me"
Me: "Wait, what?"
Wife: "This is why we can’t just talk about it because you won’t go"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Wife: "We were supposed to go trick or treating but you are laughing at me and won’t go"
Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.