Wait, do what now?
My girlfriend wakes up, looks at me, points then says…
Girlfriend: "I think she will mow the sunshine."
Me: "The sunsine needs mowing again?"
She was asleep again before she could respond.
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Girlfriend: *pointing at the ceiling and moving her finger as if she is following something* "Did, did you see that?"
Girlfriend: "Ok, I didn’t make this up. It was red, and it was like hanging down, and then it got sucked up, and then it disappeared."
Girlfriend: "Wait. And now it sounds really stupid"
Me: *more laughing*
Girlfriend: "I gotta go" *mumbles something*
Girlfriend: "Don’t worry about it. Just ignore me"
Girlfriend: "be careful. Just be careful!" She then pat me on the butt
Me: "uh, ok?"
Girlfriend: *absolutely random mumbling* *giggles*
Girlfriend: "oh nothing. Im just. I’m just looking for you’re safety"
Girlfriend: "Do….what should I do? Should I go around the edge?"
Me: "What edge?"
Girlfriend: "The edge here. Should I go on that?"
Me: "Maybe? What are the options?"
Girlfriend: "What…what should I do? What do you want me to do?"
Me: "I don’t know?"
Girlfriend: "I’m gonna do what I’m doing."
Fiance: "Oh, oh great"
Fiance: "It’s stuck up in the ceiling fan"
Me: "What is?"
Fiance: "Wait, maybe it’s a shadow from your head"
Me: "There’s no light to make a shadow"
While playing "Thrift Shop" on Spotify…
Erin: "Is this my, uh, my theme list?"
Me: "Your what?"
Erin: "My theme list that I was working on"
Me: "I guess so."
Erin: "oh, ok"
Girlfriend: "Who….whats in over there? Is he in there? What’s his name?"
Me: (bewildered at all of the random and sudden questions) "I think his name is Josh"
Girlfriend: "Is, who is the guy that’s above us in the replaceable. In there."
Me: "I have no idea"
Fiance: *pointing at the ceiling VERY rapidly* "Holy shit!"
Fiance: *mumbling* "…and its all around the sinking. See it?"
Me: "Yea. I think it’s sinking toward you"
Fiance: "It’s sinking up there. It’s really bad. Do you see it?"
Me: "I see it. Why did it do that?"
Fiance: *mumbling again and then back asleep*
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.