Wait, do what now?
Fiance: *mumbling* "If I had a suit"
Me: "A what?"
Fiance: *pointing randomly at the ceiling* "I could get up there if I had a soup, er, shoot, suit. On the shelf"
Me: "An elf on the shelf?"
Fiance: "No, dummy, suit on shelf."
And she’s out again.
Girlfriend: "Hows that look? The log cabin stuff?
Girlfriend: "The log cabin in the closet. I don’t know. It looks like its…*pause*"
Me: "like what?"
Girlfriend: "I don’t know. You don’t need to tell anyone about this"
Oh yes, yes I do.
Fiance: "wait, is that one more?"
Me: "It’s always one more"
Fiance: "ugh I’m always one behind. It makes me crazy"
Me: "You’re crazy already."
Fiance: "I know it makes me crazy. I can’t catch up"
Me: "Try running"
Fiance: "I can’t its always one more"
My fiance wakes up, speaking absolute gibberish and pointing down: "jfksjio and under the bed"
Me: "What’s under the bed?"
Fiance: "They have a stove under there"
Me: "Who does?"
Fiance: "I don’t know but I know they have one and it’s like…one they pass around to each other"
Me: "How do you know?"
Fiance: "I don’t know, but I know they have it"
Me: "It’s those damned Keebler Elves again, isn’t it?"
Fiance: *Sound asleep*
Me: "I didn’t say anything"
Fiance: *pointing at the wall* "ok, so you saw that"
Me: "saw what?"
Fiance: "ok, the cups were the stereo and your glasses were up there. It all makes sense"
Me: "No, no it doesn’t. You’re crazy."
Fiance: "no it was. It works."
Fiance: *asleep again*
Wife: "It’s better here. I like it here."
Wife: "Hey, do you need help? I need to clean."
Me: "Why do you need to clean?"
Wife: "I just thought to help you. I already asked, didn’t I?"
Fiance: "Woa, woa, woa. What’s wrong with our ceiling?"
Me: *looks up*
Fiance: "It’s like, dripping down. Wait. Is it?"
Me: "I think I felt some ceiling drip on me"
Fiance: "That’s weird. It’s just weird"
Fiance: *mumbles quite a bit and points at her pillow* "Theres another million under there…" *mumbles*
Fiance: "Yea, under there. I’m not getting near there." *inches towards the foot of the bed*
Fiance: "It’s a million. all bees." *continues to inch towards the foot of the bed*
Me: "where are you going?"
Fiance: "Getting away. They can get off me." *falls asleep*
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Girlfriend: *pointing at the ceiling and moving her finger as if she is following something* "Did, did you see that?"
Girlfriend: "Ok, I didn’t make this up. It was red, and it was like hanging down, and then it got sucked up, and then it disappeared."
Girlfriend: "Wait. And now it sounds really stupid"
Me: *more laughing*
Girlfriend: "I gotta go" *mumbles something*
Girlfriend: "Don’t worry about it. Just ignore me"