Wait, do what now?
Fiance: "You okay?"
Me: "Yea. My eye itches"
Fiance: "So it’s ok now?"
Fiance, in a mocking voice: "How does that happen? Whoop, my eye’s all better now. *giggles*"
Me: "Don’t laugh, that can happen"
She fell back asleep at this point
Girlfriend: "Will you tell me when that guy" *fades off into a mumble.
Girlfriend: "That guy with the blue piece"
Me: "Which guy?"
Girlfriend: "The one with the brain piece. You know, he had it up there"
Me: "Oh yea, him. What about him?"
Girlfriend: "He had the two pieces."
And then she fell asleep again.
Fiance: *mumbling* "If I had a suit"
Me: "A what?"
Fiance: *pointing randomly at the ceiling* "I could get up there if I had a soup, er, shoot, suit. On the shelf"
Me: "An elf on the shelf?"
Fiance: "No, dummy, suit on shelf."
And she’s out again.
Girlfriend wakes up abruptly, looks around the room….
Girlfriend: "Ok, don’t think I’m crazy. Do this…" She covers her face with her hands, as if she is hiding, but allows a small crack between her hands so she can look through.
Me: "I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing"
Girlfriend: "It’s just weird. When that stuff was moving. You just have to see it"
At this point all I could do was laugh. I had absolutely no response.
Girlfriend: "Wait. What’s that dog doing?"
Girlfriend: "Hey, no! Hey hey hey hey hey. Dog! Stop that!"
Me: "She’s sleeping"
Girlfriend: "But she’s over there. It…it looks like she’s inside the door"
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Fiance: "huh? But it’s free"
Me: "What’s free?"
Fiance: "The thing on my phone. It’s, where. You know."
Me: "What is it?"
Fiance: "It’s for the phone. The sound of wild horses, free, for iPhones."
Me: "I like free"
Fiance: *sits straight up in bed* "huh? Wait, how do I get out of here?"
Me: "The door."
Fiance: "That door that says no no?"
Me: "No, that’s the bathroom door."
Fiance: "But you said I could get out there."
Me: "No, you have to use the other door."
Fiance: "Oh. I’m so confused. I can’t get out of here."
Fiance: "I, I don’t like that. *points* The king is back there."
Fiance: "Because I’m going to sell him"
Me: "Why are you going to sell him?"
Fiance: "I don’t know. It’s genuinely like, what, what happened."
Fiance: *giggles* "But it’s not my problem."