Posts tagged sleep talking

Wife: “Hey! What are you doing?!?” Me: “I’m reading and you’re having a nightmare” Wife: “No, I’m wide awake. Who is Jezma?” Me: “What?” Wife: “You just said you were Jezma” Me: “I did not” Wife: “Oh shit, I wish I recorded this. You thought you were Jezma and now you feel like a dumb dumb” Me: “Sure, let’s go with that”

Wife wakes up in a panic and covers her head with her pillow, yelling.
Wife: "No, no, no, no! I don’t want to play! Seriously I’m not playing this game!"
Me: "what game do you think we are playing?"
Wife: "Well, I guess I can play for a little"
Me: "What are we playing?"
Wife: "The game with the cup. Where we have to put the guy in the cup. I don’t know. Right?"
Me: "What cup? What guy? I don’t see that here."
Wife: "I don’t know. The guy that we flip."

Fiance: "So anyone can have one but it’s not just me. See?"
Me: "Anyone can have what?"
Fiance: "Ok, are we really going to do this again?"
Me: "Yes."
Fiance: "Do you not understand?"
Me: "No. Explain it to me"
Fiance: "Can’t I just tell you later?"
Me: "No, I’ll forget"
Fiance: "Ok, listen, Re-re. Anyone can get one, it’s a prize. It’s a candle, but not just me, anyone can have one. Ok?"
Me: "Anyone?"
Fiance: "yes"

Girlfriend: "Who….whats in over there? Is he in there? What’s his name?"
Me: (bewildered at all of the random and sudden questions) "I think his name is Josh"
Girlfriend: "Is, who is the guy that’s above us in the replaceable. In there."
Me: "I have no idea"

Fiance: "You okay?"
Me: "Yea. My eye itches"
Fiance: "So it’s ok now?"
Me: "Yep"
Fiance, in a mocking voice: "How does that happen? Whoop, my eye’s all better now. *giggles*"
Me: "Don’t laugh, that can happen"
She fell back asleep at this point

Fiance: *concerned mumbles*
Me: "What?"
Fiance: *concerned mumbles, lots of pointing with a crooked finger*
Me: "I still don’t get it"
Fiance: "Ok, re-re, look there is someone over there"
Me: "No, there isn’t. That’s a dresser."
Fiance: "Yes there is. There’s someone over there. Go look. Go. Do you want me to go?"
Me: "Hell no, you’ll die"
Fiance: "Should we blow him up?"
Me: "Yes. Absolutely."

Girlfriend: *awakens and looks surprised* "ooooh my!" *points at celing* "Do you see that?"
Me: "See what?"
Girlfriend: "That thing over there" (she is still pointing up). "It’s kind of cool. It’s blue. It looks like a blackberry smell"
Me: "A what?"

Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"

Wife: *mumbles franticly* "I don’t want to, don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Why would I make you disappear?"
Wife: "I don’t know but no more. I don’t like it. Don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Ok, I won’t make you disappear."

Fiance: "I don’t have it"
Me: "Don’t have what?"
Fiance: "The, Oregon trail. I need it."
Me: "ok?"
Fiance: *asleep*