Posts tagged sleep talking

Wife: "Hey. I moved over so you have more room in *mumbles*"
Me: "More room in what?"
Wife: "In the button area. You can have more room."
Me: "Why do I need more room?"
Wife: "I don’t know. But I thought you wanted more room for the buttons"

Fiance: *concerned mumbles*
Me: "What?"
Fiance: *concerned mumbles, lots of pointing with a crooked finger*
Me: "I still don’t get it"
Fiance: "Ok, re-re, look there is someone over there"
Me: "No, there isn’t. That’s a dresser."
Fiance: "Yes there is. There’s someone over there. Go look. Go. Do you want me to go?"
Me: "Hell no, you’ll die"
Fiance: "Should we blow him up?"
Me: "Yes. Absolutely."

Fiance: "huh? But it’s free"
Me: "What’s free?"
Fiance: "The thing on my phone. It’s, where. You know."
Me: "What is it?"
Fiance: "It’s for the phone. The sound of wild horses, free, for iPhones."
Me: "I like free"

Fiance: "So anyone can have one but it’s not just me. See?"
Me: "Anyone can have what?"
Fiance: "Ok, are we really going to do this again?"
Me: "Yes."
Fiance: "Do you not understand?"
Me: "No. Explain it to me"
Fiance: "Can’t I just tell you later?"
Me: "No, I’ll forget"
Fiance: "Ok, listen, Re-re. Anyone can get one, it’s a prize. It’s a candle, but not just me, anyone can have one. Ok?"
Me: "Anyone?"
Fiance: "yes"

Fiance: "You can move the *mumble*"
Me: "Move the what?"
Fiance: "You can move the shelf if you want to"
Me: "Why would I move the shelf?"
Fiance: *disgruntled grumble*
Me: "Don’t growl at me, I was just going to move the shelf"
Fiance: *silence*

Fiance: "wait, is that one more?"
Me: "It’s always one more"
Fiance: "ugh I’m always one behind. It makes me crazy"
Me: "You’re crazy already."
Fiance: "I know it makes me crazy. I can’t catch up"
Me: "Try running"
Fiance: "I can’t its always one more"

Wife: *Freaks out and gets out of bed, walks to the bathroom*
Wife: "She’s trying to get in the bed!"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those effing crayons"
Me: "What?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those damn crayons for her anymore"

Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"

Wife wakes up in a panic and covers her head with her pillow, yelling.
Wife: "No, no, no, no! I don’t want to play! Seriously I’m not playing this game!"
Me: "what game do you think we are playing?"
Wife: "Well, I guess I can play for a little"
Me: "What are we playing?"
Wife: "The game with the cup. Where we have to put the guy in the cup. I don’t know. Right?"
Me: "What cup? What guy? I don’t see that here."
Wife: "I don’t know. The guy that we flip."

Girlfriend: *Tosses and turns rapidly* "Mom!"
Me: "It’s just me. You’re ok, nothing is trying to get you"
GF: "What was that noise?"
Me: "I just sniffled a second ago. I’m still sick"
GF: "What does that represent? I mean, represent"
Me: "I have no idea. What do you think it represents?"
And then no reply. She had already fallen back asleep.