Wait, do what now?
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Wife: "What’s this?" *Points at my arm* "It’s leaking"
Me: "My arm is leaking?"
Wife: "I like the tattoo."
Me: "I have a tattoo and it’s leaking?"
Wife: "Um. I, I think I’m not asleep"
Fiance: "I hope you don’t mind. I moved the bed"
Me: "you did?" (The bed was not moved at all.)
Fiance: "yea. I used that thing where there is 4 instead of 3. And you tie it at the top."
Me: "It’s kind of cold in here"
Fiance: "Lay down and you’ll get warm, then you will be cold"
Me: "Is that how it works?"
Fiance: *asleep again*
Girlfriend wakes up abruptly, looks around the room….
Girlfriend: "Ok, don’t think I’m crazy. Do this…" She covers her face with her hands, as if she is hiding, but allows a small crack between her hands so she can look through.
Me: "I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing"
Girlfriend: "It’s just weird. When that stuff was moving. You just have to see it"
At this point all I could do was laugh. I had absolutely no response.
Fiance: "I don’t have it"
Me: "Don’t have what?"
Fiance: "The, Oregon trail. I need it."
Fiance: "Do you want me to hold that?"
Me: "Hold what?"
Fiance: "What you’re working on. I’ll hold that if you want"
Me: "You want to hold my laptop?"
Fiance: "If you want me to"
Me: "I think I’m ok to hold it"
And she’s fast asleep again.
Wife: "Woa! That’s beautiful! Where did you get that?"
Me: "Get what?"
Wife: "That picture! Do you see it?"
Me: "I sure do."
Wife: "Do you have it? It’s over there, I can see it."
Me: "No I don’t think so."
Wife: "Oh. Ok."
Wife: "Hey. I moved over so you have more room in *mumbles*"
Me: "More room in what?"
Wife: "In the button area. You can have more room."
Me: "Why do I need more room?"
Wife: "I don’t know. But I thought you wanted more room for the buttons"
Wife wakes up in a panic and covers her head with her pillow, yelling.
Wife: "No, no, no, no! I don’t want to play! Seriously I’m not playing this game!"
Me: "what game do you think we are playing?"
Wife: "Well, I guess I can play for a little"
Me: "What are we playing?"
Wife: "The game with the cup. Where we have to put the guy in the cup. I don’t know. Right?"
Me: "What cup? What guy? I don’t see that here."
Wife: "I don’t know. The guy that we flip."
Fiance: *sits straight up in bed* "huh? Wait, how do I get out of here?"
Me: "The door."
Fiance: "That door that says no no?"
Me: "No, that’s the bathroom door."
Fiance: "But you said I could get out there."
Me: "No, you have to use the other door."
Fiance: "Oh. I’m so confused. I can’t get out of here."