Wait, do what now?
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Fiance: "Woa, woa, woa. What’s wrong with our ceiling?"
Me: *looks up*
Fiance: "It’s like, dripping down. Wait. Is it?"
Me: "I think I felt some ceiling drip on me"
Fiance: "That’s weird. It’s just weird"
Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"
Girlfriend: *puts her arm under her pillow, lifts it up and partially sits up* *mumbles something about a rose*
Me: "What are you doing?!?"
Girlfriend: "I’m not doing it"
Me: (I am slightly concerned at this point). "What are you not doing?"
Girlfriend: "Oh, you know"
Me: "No, I don’t"
Girlfriend: "you know, capsizing"
Girlfriend: "I gotta go. My ship is sinking and I need my last beaths of air".
Me: *blink* *confused*
Girlfriend: "It’s my Titanic"
I….have no idea. She snapped out of it when she heard me gasping for my own air from laughing so hard.
Girlfriend: "Will you tell me when that guy" *fades off into a mumble.
Girlfriend: "That guy with the blue piece"
Me: "Which guy?"
Girlfriend: "The one with the brain piece. You know, he had it up there"
Me: "Oh yea, him. What about him?"
Girlfriend: "He had the two pieces."
And then she fell asleep again.
Fiance: "Oh, oh great"
Fiance: "It’s stuck up in the ceiling fan"
Me: "What is?"
Fiance: "Wait, maybe it’s a shadow from your head"
Me: "There’s no light to make a shadow"
Wife: "Do you see that up there?"
Me: "See what?"
Wife: "That big green. It’s going to be, um, on the green there."
Me: "It’s green?"
Wife: "Yea. Big glob of snot and it’s gonna fall."
Wife: "I can’t even look anymore. Big snot. It’s gonna fall."
Fiance: *mumbles quite a bit and points at her pillow* "Theres another million under there…" *mumbles*
Fiance: "Yea, under there. I’m not getting near there." *inches towards the foot of the bed*
Fiance: "It’s a million. all bees." *continues to inch towards the foot of the bed*
Me: "where are you going?"
Fiance: "Getting away. They can get off me." *falls asleep*
My girlfriend wakes up, looks at me, points then says…
Girlfriend: "I think she will mow the sunshine."
Me: "The sunsine needs mowing again?"
She was asleep again before she could respond.
Wife: "Oh, they *mumble* the coupons."
Me: "What coupons?"
Wife: "I don’t know."
Me: "I don’t either."