Wait, do what now?
Wife: *Freaks out and gets out of bed, walks to the bathroom*
Wife: "She’s trying to get in the bed!"
Me: "What are you doing?"
Wife: "I’m not buying those effing crayons"
Wife: "I’m not buying those damn crayons for her anymore"
Girlfriend: Is stuff alive over there?
Girlfriend: *Leans over to look on my side of the bed* I just picked this up over there and it was alive. And then… I shut it….and put it over there.
Me: You did?
Girlfriend: Yes. And it had a baby. A bad baby. But, you know, not a real one.
Wife: “Hey! What are you doing?!?” Me: “I’m reading and you’re having a nightmare” Wife: “No, I’m wide awake. Who is Jezma?” Me: “What?” Wife: “You just said you were Jezma” Me: “I did not” Wife: “Oh shit, I wish I recorded this. You thought you were Jezma and now you feel like a dumb dumb” Me: “Sure, let’s go with that”
Girlfriend: *Tosses and turns rapidly* "Mom!"
Me: "It’s just me. You’re ok, nothing is trying to get you"
GF: "What was that noise?"
Me: "I just sniffled a second ago. I’m still sick"
GF: "What does that represent? I mean, represent"
Me: "I have no idea. What do you think it represents?"
And then no reply. She had already fallen back asleep.
Girlfriend: "That will be it. Sticky paws."
Girlfriend: "That will be your detective name. Sticky paws."
Wife: "Hey. I moved over so you have more room in *mumbles*"
Me: "More room in what?"
Wife: "In the button area. You can have more room."
Me: "Why do I need more room?"
Wife: "I don’t know. But I thought you wanted more room for the buttons"
Fiance: "Do you want me to hold that?"
Me: "Hold what?"
Fiance: "What you’re working on. I’ll hold that if you want"
Me: "You want to hold my laptop?"
Fiance: "If you want me to"
Me: "I think I’m ok to hold it"
And she’s fast asleep again.
Girlfriend: "I’m not looking! I’m not looking! I promise!"
She then covered her face with the sheets and again said "I’m not looking! Ok!"
Me: "What are you not looking at?"
Girlfriend: "I don’t know. Something stupid" *giggles*
Me: "You will never remember this. And it’s almost a shame"
Girlfriend: "Who….whats in over there? Is he in there? What’s his name?"
Me: (bewildered at all of the random and sudden questions) "I think his name is Josh"
Girlfriend: "Is, who is the guy that’s above us in the replaceable. In there."
Me: "I have no idea"
Fiance: "This…This is why I’ve had so much trouble. It’s like, it’s like this piece of hair made of plastic. You know, it’s like plaster and it’s just I don’t know I’m not going to explain it."