Wait, do what now?
Girlfriend: "be careful. Just be careful!" She then pat me on the butt
Me: "uh, ok?"
Girlfriend: *absolutely random mumbling* *giggles*
Girlfriend: "oh nothing. Im just. I’m just looking for you’re safety"
Wife: *mumbles franticly* "I don’t want to, don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Why would I make you disappear?"
Wife: "I don’t know but no more. I don’t like it. Don’t make me disappear!"
Me: "Ok, I won’t make you disappear."
Fiance: "You okay?"
Me: "Yea. My eye itches"
Fiance: "So it’s ok now?"
Fiance, in a mocking voice: "How does that happen? Whoop, my eye’s all better now. *giggles*"
Me: "Don’t laugh, that can happen"
She fell back asleep at this point
Girlfriend wakes up, freaks out and pulls the sheets up to her eyeballs….
GF: "Holy dear God. That was scary. Did you see that? I didn’t like it"
Me: "I didn’t see it. What was it?"
GF: "It was a huge bumble bee. It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "What was the bee trying to do?"
GF: "It was trying to eat me and spit me back out"
Me: "It was trying to eat you and spit you back out?"
Me: "What, why?"
GF: "Because it’s mean and it wants to *garbled* at me"
Me: "I think you need to find new friends for bumble bees"
GF: "Yea probably."
Fiance: "You can move the *mumble*"
Me: "Move the what?"
Fiance: "You can move the shelf if you want to"
Me: "Why would I move the shelf?"
Fiance: *disgruntled grumble*
Me: "Don’t growl at me, I was just going to move the shelf"
Fiance: "I don’t have it"
Me: "Don’t have what?"
Fiance: "The, Oregon trail. I need it."
Fiance: *mumbling* "If I had a suit"
Me: "A what?"
Fiance: *pointing randomly at the ceiling* "I could get up there if I had a soup, er, shoot, suit. On the shelf"
Me: "An elf on the shelf?"
Fiance: "No, dummy, suit on shelf."
And she’s out again.
Girlfriend wakes up abruptly, looks around the room….
Girlfriend: "Ok, don’t think I’m crazy. Do this…" She covers her face with her hands, as if she is hiding, but allows a small crack between her hands so she can look through.
Me: "I have absolutely no idea what the hell you are doing"
Girlfriend: "It’s just weird. When that stuff was moving. You just have to see it"
At this point all I could do was laugh. I had absolutely no response.
Wife: "Oh…my….gosh. Don’t move over. There’s, this…"
And then she starts grabbing at invisible stuff on the bed and tosses it off to the side.
Me: "What are you doing? I was using those."
Wife: "There’s this huge thing of hair. And not just your hair, it’s mine too"
Me: "I didn’t say anything"
Fiance: *pointing at the wall* "ok, so you saw that"
Me: "saw what?"
Fiance: "ok, the cups were the stereo and your glasses were up there. It all makes sense"
Me: "No, no it doesn’t. You’re crazy."
Fiance: "no it was. It works."
Fiance: *asleep again*